Monday, 09 March 2009
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The obvious question is, “How are you, Tina?”
The answer isn’t quite so obvious. It’s a moment-by-moment thing.
I have periods of being functional, and other moments of absolute depression. Yesterday I completely fell apart during church while today I was able to work nine hours with some semblance of sanity.
I sleep for hours and hours yet I am extremely tired.
I’ve discovered that strength training is a great stress reliever. The other benefit is that I’ve notice walking up stairs doesn’t hurt now!
I miss calling my Mom to tell her every little thing that happens. It breaks my heart to talk to my Dad and hear him so broken. I wish I lived closer to Dad, because no one can care for him as well as I can, dadgumit!
I am so very thankful for the love and prayers and emails and well-wishes from everyone. People have dropped off food, cleaned the house, taken Dad out to eat, sent flowers, and cards upon cards. I am thankful for the immense number of people who came to the funeral home and awed at the number of lives touched by my Mom. I am thankful that my Mom had trusted in Jesus as her Savior.
I am thankful.
I am sad.
But, I am thankful.
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Comments (4)
It's been 14 years this month since my mom died and I still often wish we'd have a better relationship. It's taken me all this time to come to terms with the fact that she had emotional issues all her life and the things she did weren't her fault but that of those who should have gotten her help at an early age but didn't. There just wasn't much help offered to people back in her earlier life so I imagine she was always very unhappy. After she died my father changed for the better and we became closer. I grew up not really knowing him at all, but in his last years we became good friends and he opened up about his horrible childhood. I tend to miss him a lot more and he's been gone almost two years. When I read about people who have close relationships with their parents, it gives me a good feeling inside. You are lucky in that aspect and as you already know, your mom did a great job and I know she was so proud of how you turned out.
**thinking of you**
((((((((hugs)))))))))