Wednesday, 14 January 2009

• Stupid Tina Trick #458821

   

  I awoke this morning completely oblivious to the fact that the snow plow had gone down our street some time during the night, and fully expected the drive to look just like it did when I got home from having dinner with Don and Linda last night… completely covered in three inches or so of snow, but completely drive-through-able.

   

  It wasn’t until I backed out of the garage and saw the snow at the end of the drive that I remembered that I shouldn’t have hit the snooze forty-eleven times this morning. Being the completely optimistic person I am, I determined that my little red clown car Toyota Echo could plow right through that “little hill” of snow, so off I went at breakneck speed … only to be stopped abruptly in my tracks when the nose of the car dug into the MOUNTAIN of snow!

   

  I got out of the car and went back to the garage to get the shovel and the big bag of cat litter that I’ve been saving for such a time as this. I shoveled out the front tires and the nose of the car, threw down the litter, and put the car into drive, fully expecting to be on my way to work.

   

  HA! All I did was spin my tires and throw cat litter all over the neighbor’s yard! I jumped out and shoveled more and lay down more litter… what is it they say about doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results?

   

  I tried calling someone from work to come get me and I would worry about the car later, but no one was answering their phone. Normally, I would have just walked, but it was -4 degrees before the wind chill this morning! So, I was determined that I had to get that car out of the snow!

   

  In a fit of muttered prayers and growling, I poured more litter under all four tires, just as my neighbor pulled up and offered to help me. As she parked her car, I was finally able to get the car to move backward!!! She ran up and shoveled the pile holding me up and soon I was on my way!

   

  Lesson learned: Next time it snows… call in to work stoopid!

   

   

  Stupid Tina-ism #874616125

   

  While explaining to my co-workers about the offer my beautiful sister, LeeAnne, and her hubby made to transfer their gym membership to me for the remainder of their contract, I explained the gym this way:

   

  “She said at the gym in Indiana, they have a darkened room where they play movies while you make out.”

   

  Now everyone wants to go to the gym!

   

   

  Stupid Tina Trick #458822

   

  When I got home from work this evening, I had to finish clearing out the driveway and digging out the mailbox that was blocked by three feet of snow that was three feet out into the road, plus the six lots of sidewalk that the church is responsible for. We just purchased an awesome snow blower this year that has six speeds forward and two speeds in reverse and it devours snow!

   

  Usually.

   

  When I started down the driveway the auger no longer augered. The blower came with a big stick to shove down the chute in case anything got jammed in there. I was able to turn the chute to the right enough that I could hold down the auger lever and see what was happening down in the little hole.

   

  I poked around, and then squeezed the lever again. No augering.

   

  I poked harder and squeezed again. Auuuuuugh!

   

  I muttered a few choice words at the machine while holding down the auger lever and peering deep into the chute… when…

  
  FWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMP!!!!!

   

  The auger decided to engage at warp speed and spewed snow right into my face and down my coat!

   

  Lesson learned: Never cuss at a contrary snow blower while staring down its throat!

   

    

  What silly thing have you done lately?

   

  • 8:29 AM
  • 36 Views
  • 8 eProps
  • 5 Comments